Matt Vs Smith
Okay let’s be real, the score line doesn’t really resemble what actually happened. Smith probably would’ve won but Mike Evans putting up a 40 burger. Matt...you are dealing with all sorts of shit. You better pray for waiver gold.
Ross vs Cubby
Cubby whooped you Ross... Now this was a ceiling breaker, Cubby your team will never get here again. Ross i think 112 is your ceiling so good luck making the playoffs. I think you are getting the Sacko tbh.
Kevin vs Naughton
Congratulations Naughton on the last win you’ll get until week 10. Kevin your team is not good though. You are being pulled by CMC and the rest of your team is full of underperforming holes. You should start praying to Shiva like 9 times a day to hopefully reverse the curse.
Jake vs Tyler
Big win for Jake. Even with AB gone forever (Central Michigan) your team has some smoking hot players. Hopefully C Kupp will flash those titties some more and you can get more wins. Tyler, i wouldn’t be worried, you still had a respectable week
Josh vs Drew
Okay. Well. How about dem Bears. Both of our benches had better options that could’ve influenced the score line in our favor. But seriously the Xfactor was Da Bears! Great win Josh. Have a Happy Wedding.
That’s week 3
The comparison this week is QBs.
Matt Davis: Eli Manning
Dude you’re getting benched. You’ll forever be remembered as a Shiva Champ but you’ve been terrible for sometime now. You better hope there’s a team making changes.
Ross: Josh Rosen
You had a lot of hope going into last years season but you didn’t make the playoffs... this season was going to be a new start for you but it turns out you’re worse than before.
Josh: Josh Allen
I don’t think people thought you were going to have this good of a start, i don’t even think you thought it. You’ve proved us wrong. Congrats on your 3-0 record.
Naughton: Marcus Mariota
You are just terrible at football. Your team is sprinkled with good players but you can’t lead them. Unfortunately for you you’ll never be good enough to win a championship.
Kevin: Drew Brees
You have won the Shiva, some may even throw you in the GOAT conversation but it’s your down year sucker. Have fun in the Sacko you trash bag.
Cubby: Jared Goff
Remember when you flew to close to the Shiva? Yeah we all do. Who knows maybe you’ll win someday....probably not though.
Jake: Philip Rivers
You are a veteran in this league and I don’t think anyone would be mad if you got your championship.
Tyler: Russell Wilson
You fit in your unique system but outside of it you might be useless and phoning it in would catch up to you. You don’t even ‘run’ for your team anymore. But i guess if you’ve won a Shiva, you don’t really need to win again
Smith: Dak Prescott
Some years you’re good some years you are really bad! But idk this year i feel like you might make the playoffs! Also you’d suck Jerry Jones for a payday.
Drew: Nick Foles/Garner Minshew
I can win a Shiva. Hell i might even win this year. I’m fully torqued for this season and I love being the underdog. I also have a huge dong.