2018 Draft Order: World Cup pool ran by Drew (Sacko Commissioner)
Owner
Team Name
Win
Loss
End Pos.
Kevin Davis
Jake Loves His Sloppy Seconds
9
4
Shiva
Matt “Cubby” Samuelson
The Big Dick Bandits
10
3
2
Ryan Naughton
Cubby’s Cleanup Crew
8
5
3
Jake Kerr
The Kidney Shifters
7
6
4
Drew
Kiss Dem Titties, Mitch
7
6
5
Tyler & Miles Colon
Bang Dem Sticks
8
5
6
Ryan Smith
Cubbys Commiser Chode
0
13
7
Ross Davis
T C M (Total Cubby Move)
6
7
8
Josh Kerr
Mr. Fifth Place
3
6
9
Matt Davis
Rudolph the No Catch Reindeer
4
9
Sacko
Draft Location: The Full Schilling
Draft Day Video: (Kevin Intro Video, somewhere on YouTube)
Draft Day Memories: We were committed this year gentlemen. Jake and I flew in from our jobs for the draft, Kevin and Matt drove in, we had people ready on calls. Everything was fantastic, especially when the night before Matt Davis forced beer down my throat and I barfed in a nice bar that served specialty beer and we made an Irish goodbye. Fuck you Matt, you made me barf halfway through a nice beer and it was only beer #3 that night. God, I’m a puss. At least I made up for it the day after. Once Drew made it to Ross’ swanky Mac & Cheese Warehouse, we went into the city to check out Josh’s kitty shelter. Josh’s place is awesome and he did it right, cooking up some burgers and dogs to prepare for a great draft day. Not to mention the supply of beers and cigars he had on hand. It was a great start to draft day, and it only got better. 8 dudes and 4 hours of all you can drink for $30 in Wrigleyville. What could possibly go wrong? Gentlemen, we set a new low standard for everything. I mean everything. All of us did at least one thing that was incredibly dumb this night. There was a reason that when we walked into the bar, everyone started to boo us. Anyway, we got our draft board setup, our 2 beer towers rolling, and Kevin picked David Johnson with the 1st overall pick of the draft. And from there, things just got worse. By the 12th round, we have Smith on auto draft, we have all given up thanks to all the beer we’ve had. Missy showed up and was pretty much like “holy shit you’re all degenerates.” Ross’s ex-girlfriend Kaitlyn showed up and was making his picks while he took smoke breaks. Josh was picking fights with…well…people with specific traits. I want to say this was a night to remember, but pretty much none of us really remembered much. Jake’s draft after the 12th round was legit just a pile of shit on the draft board. Naughton had like 5 beers, said “I’m fucked” and had a great draft. Josh was trying to buy drinks for anyone that was trying to get with Missy (sorry if you’re reading all of this Missy, and I’m sorry it only gets worse from here. God bless your soul). Anyway, after the draft we were so blacked we made the dumb ass decision to split up. We all went out with Shiva in Wrigleyville that night. Geez, what a great time together. Anyway, things only got better. I don’t know what happened with you fuckers. Apparently I missed out on Drew jumping an L turnstyle and yelling on the L that he’s the best, he fucks bitches, and everyone should suck him off. Also, sharing the draft board with a homeless dude is a pretty nice touch. I do know that Jake, Missy and I went out for a camp reunion and got bombed. Especially Jake. We ended up crashing at Missy’s place, and Jake ended up peeing in one of Missy’s drawers. Thank god Missy is a good friend or else Jake and I could’ve been sleeping on the streets that night. Jake, you’re a fucking degenerate and I’m glad I have a story to match me barfing in your car. Anyway, the draft was a success and we all made it back to our respective homes safely. Great weekend to spend with the best dudes around, and hopefully the tradition of a destination draft continues. And, if we ever go to Vegas hopefully we don’t die.