Josh vs Naughton
Well it took a few weeks without Saquon for you to finally lay a goose egg and not a soul is hoping you win this week. Josh your team is remarkably consistent but 109 points isn’t gonna win you any praise in my book. Looking forward to your 2nd loss this season.
Matt vs Tyler
This was pure disappointment. Tyler your team was bailed out by two schmucks in Connor and Hooper. Your team’s performance could tragically fall off a cliff with one injury. Your bench is vacant and Matt your team isn’t as bad as your record suggests but it really wasn’t ever playoff worthy.
Drew vs Kevin
Kevin kevin kevin... your team was by far the worst this week and maybe the worst team performance all year. CMC is your crown jewel and without him your shit would stink worse than naughtons. Your desperate for position players and you don’t even know it. As always i put up a consistent pt total.
Jake vs Ross
Bad look of the week: Jake losing to Ross. Ross you had a few players that out kicked there coverage... Impressive but i think 120 might be your peak. That being said you might beat Kevin this week. Jake, another unlucky loss.
Smith vs Cubby
Marty Daniels from Blue Mountain State said he fucking hates kickers and a few of you might agree but a good kicker makes all the difference. Prater worked for those points making the impossible possible. Smith congrats on the W and Cubby it’s a kicker year.
And that was week 6
Comparisons.
Comedians.
Naughton: Jim Gaffigan
You are funny in an odd family friendly way. You’re non threatening and tolerable in most situations. Your unsuspecting nature will be your downfall and make it all the more tragic when the world finds out about your sexual deviance.
Tyler: Tina Fey
You are funny but the world fucking hates that you know it. You’ve been irrelevant ever since your tv show. We wouldn’t mind to see you on another show but just like 30 Rock (AYT1) none of us will watch it.
Cubby: Louis CK
Weirdly you and Jim Gaffigan always mixed me up. Like you kind of look just like generic white nerds... but now nobody mixes you up. We know now that one of you probably jerks off to women you’ve talked to on the phone and it only might also be Jim... Sorry CK but you’re a bit of a perv.
Smith: Joey Diaz
Physical appearance aside these two are stupid similar... Joey Diaz lives and dies by the coked up parties among other less than kosher activities. You love doing drugs off girls asses and then lick the puckered brown eye for good luck.
Matt Davis: Larry David
Impressing you is like pulling teeth and the things that do make you happy are things that nobody fully understands. You are the ultimate victim of circumstance and you just kind of take it like a cuck. Your Seinfeld was your Shiva.
Josh: Bert Kreischer
You’ve been the machine but you’ve also been kind of this sad sack of shit. You always seem to work hard but it rarely gets you where you want to go... you do thrown bitching parties and we love it when you’re drunk.
Kevin: Alec Baldwin
You play the leader of this league but we know it all an act because deep down you’re a just trying to Trump us all. You’re delusional half the time and the other half of the time you’re trying to fuck us over. You play the part really well but most of us know it’s an act.
Jake: John C Reilly
You have had some spectacular parts. And over all youre one of the best in the game but you’ve never been the star of the show... you are always losing out to Will Farrell or Chris Pratt. Honestly you should be ashamed that you’ve never been the star. Sack up pussy.
Ross: Chris Farley
BECAUSE YOURE FAT
Ross 2.0: David Spade
You used to be a big part of this comedy world but now you are painfully irrelevant and it’s noticeable to us and yourself. You grasp at every shred of talent trying to make yourself better but you never get better. You do some how manage to get with women that are way out of your league even though you’re a soft 2
Drew: Ari Shaffir
I really am just a 30 something Jewish man who loves the idea of always being high but due to societal pressure i can’t accomplish that. I’m an under the radar kind of guy until i go on some rage filled screaming match with some poor fuck who called me unfunny.