Week 2
Smith vs Russbin
(Harmonize with the second verse in Knife Talk by Drake)
Smith is mister body catcher, Slaughter Gang soul snatcher. Ain't no regular 150+, this a fuckin' top 5 performance.
No capper, street FF baller, not a rapper
Chopper hit him and he turned into a booty clapper. SMITH & Wesson, he 40 burger Gang reppin'. He done baptized Ross better than a damn reverend *yeah*
Kappa Alpha, me and my gang, we do all the steppin'
Who you checkin'?
Smith opened up week 2 with 177pts. Should we move on?
Drew vs Naughton the League Tanker
My team looks BAD! 3 out of my 4 starting receivers were effectively OUT. My QBs poopooed themselves and my RBs are lacking. Idk but that feels like a curse to me (unofficially)
Naughton scored the 6th most points this week. I’m glad his two first rounders combined scored 20pts this week.
Ryan, you need to batten down the hatches because this shit gonna be relentless.
Matt VS Kevin
Oh look another 140+ week? Who would’ve thunk it? “Not I” said the flies eating the corpse of Matt’s team as Kevin’s grim reaper meme of a team goes knocking on Jake’s door for week 3. Two 30 burgers from his RBs and Cooper Kupp was Cooper Kupp.
Matt and Ross’s match up this week appears to be much more even, a relief for the two 1-1 teams.
Tyles vs Josh
Damn how is this the 2nd closest match up Jesus Christ! The real story from this match up is the Buffalo defense is something else and Tyreek Hill is still Tyreek Hill especially after being listed as Questionable. Josh, another craptastic week buddy. STOP STARTING MOONEY! And Shultz might be MIA till Dak comes back.
And the 12 point split match up….
Jake vs Cubby!
Cubby was effectively saved by two players and Jake was let down by two players. Kyler remember the Beta came out and wanted to win this fucking game so he wouldn’t get shittalked by the media and Waddle waddled…twice… Mike Evans got an ASSULT charge for TB12 and Trey Lance unfortunately busted in front of our eyes!
Will Mr. Two-Ankle-Sprains take Jake to his first win? Probs not.
Not much to talk about this week.
Reluctantly comparing you all to CoD maps
Kevin: Crash (A bunch of them)
What a fucking map. Perfectly balanced (team) top to bottom. With a centerpiece, the Helicopter (Kupp) just top tier of map landmarks. Shout out top of Hotel
Cubby: Shipment (a bunch of them)
This map is on the small side but is like
too much like the entire time, like the shitstream of rockets that come from the sky. But admittedly when it’s fun it is fun. In terms of CoD (our league) definitely a fan favorite.
Matt: Highrise (MW2)
This is the map that we all went to for kick ass gameplay, usually with an eccentric twist like throwing knives only. Highly reliable for a multitude of things but often boils down to just messing around.
Tyles: Castle (World at War)
This fucking map was gigantic and had these extremely high vantage points. Not all of these are gonna be relatable…if you couldnt tell…
Rust: Russ (a bunch of them)
I bet Rust is a big fan of Russ. Rust is a constant reminder of how Russish Rust can Russ. Lots people like Russ but i personally think Russ can get repetitive and boring just like Alabama football being favored by 55 pts each week.
Smith: Terminal (MW2)
I always thought that plane was going to Ann Arbor. Great map, hell of a time and if she’s an absolute bombshell i bet Smith is lifting the no russian rule.
Jake: Cross Fire (MW)
Once talked about as being one of the best maps ever recently has been missing over the past few games. Really lacks the pizazz of some of the new shiner maps even if other classics endure. But definitely a personal favorite of mine from the LAN era.
Naughton: Dead Ops Arcade (Black Ops)
Whilst we are playing Domination or CTF, Naughton is playing this really dumb side game with himself. If he jumps into Crash he just AFKs
Josh: Private Oasis (Zelda: Windwaker)
I hope Josh’s house in SacTown looks like this and if not he deserves it because he blows at FF
Drew: Nuke Town (Black Ops)
Dude I am such an Iconic map they made me twice, this time futuristic and with a fucking plan. Arguably just as fun as Crash but it’s just been in more games.