Dear members of Jake Loves his Sloppy Seconds,
I know it’s only week two but we have a lot to talk about already. Aaron Rodgers you can just disregard this whole rant. I love you and you yourself are Jesus Christ. What you do on the fantasy football scoreboard and for the Packers is not human. Everyone else can blow me. Gronk you got stuck up by a midget on the Jacksonville D. Ramsey talked so much shit that it got inside your head and you performed like shit! Great week one and then week two you’re ass. I picked you for 10-15 points a week, not 2. David Johnson, do something with your fucking life. Tell the Cardinals you want to play RB, WR, and the damn QB. Maybe then you’ll put up some points. Isiah Crowell, Matt Bredia, Rex Burkhead, Adrian Peterson, you give me a headache. You’re all so average, I hate average. Especially when I’m so use to being way above average. I never know which one of you to play. One of you shoots his load in the end zone 2-3 times in a week and the others are just fingering each other’s butthole on my starting roster. Thank you but I’m not into it. Emmanuel Sanders and Davante Adams, you may think you’re off the hook but you’re not. Both of you have dropped a decent amount of points the first two games, but damn can you not drop the ball constantly!! The QB will never throw to you anymore when you drop wide open passes. It’s like Tyler and cubby had the Butterfingers power up from backyard baseball and used it against both of you. I hope the coming weeks are better from you lazy pieces of shit. Thank you for taking time and thought to my letter. Thanks to you assholes I’m 0-2 and lost to the worst two people in the league.
Sincerely,
Concerned Manager, Kevin Davis